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7th May '09Pass through me like I'm not there
sing for me like I care
All I want to see in truth is
All the burdens that I bear
Get rid of this irony
Let my mind be endlessly
at peace let it be restfully,
asleep dreams can't haunt
me and I will never weep
let me stop right here.
29th April '09Every time the needle touches my skin
A sad memory awakens within
Touching my mothers dead hand
As ink goes in and blood comes out then.
The pain is what I wanted, it hides true
Things unwanted. Give me the clue
I seek about a time past due
Empty thoughts not near, though
My skin is dead, I'm not afraid to taint it's flow
With burning memories, throw
Through closed doors I once locked so tight.
After the sting of lotion seeps in
and blood dries bitterly on my skin,
After pain rejected from within,
Beauty marks wounds I would open again
My back curves, twists, bleeds,
With repent, I fear sinful deeds
I have no regrets for. Needs
Are much more intense under tortured flesh
I breathe new, I feel new, Every Time
My fingers run over engraved signs
O beauty I am in awe, I am at peace
I feel myself reborn, my flesh not my own
Who can truly understand how good it
is to feel a steady hand
Carving art that moves, breathes, feels. Bend
The rules to myself until I end.
EmbraceCrushed in Dreams by this weak Body
Celestial in Nightmares of pain
My thoughts Explode alone in space...
Light; a millenia away from my own true Wish.
Where, o where that Nebula Lies
That Heaven I've been searching for.
Only in the place between Time and Movement,
Do I see some of my Improvement.
As grains of Sand go by, in the Time glass
My Mountain turns into an ant Hill
My Fiord into a prairie, but no matter.
The goal, challenge, I will always
Touched, but never Embraced.
FilthI got rid of a lot of things,
Small stuff, big stuff, things that keep memories.
I trashed old photos I burned old stories.
I even deleted past history.
This one time I broke that vase,
Then I lost a bracelet,
I'm a disgrace.
I threw out laughter; I threw out tears;
I shedded clothes; I burned fears;
I forgot gifts most dear.
But I haven't been able to get away,
In my mind all that stuff stays.
All these things gone,
But the images of them will forever be strong.
I can wash away the filth any day,
But the dirt will still stay.
the cavethere is nothing in this place.
so empty smoothness surrounds me always,
I'd rather try and catch my breath
silently by myself.
some days I wish for this place
others hatred turns my anger to grace.
I crave the freedom no one knows
but then the loneliness overthrows,
all my common sense is gone
but then it's replaced by someone.
my hands always cold
thin blood runs old.
I wonder when this cycle will stop
will they ever change the clock.
please try to understand
I'm at odds with my own brain.
I just want to hide
like a child
in my mind.
Pure SinI hold back shivers when I am so close
Your fingers roaming like my mind
My skin sends warmth in a small dose
Your fingers my body they bind.
It is silly, like two kids playing
That you hide such small touches from others.
I sigh because later I know I will be the one crying,
Trying to hide feelings and smother everything that bothers.
Yet we meet at the same place,
Touches feel even better
Kisses I can only await.
I sigh after and leave full of regret
I will never tell you
Any of these things, because I know then
I will relinquish my heart
And have it crushed.
I cannot recover from you.
Defeat already near.
I push these thoughts away in fear.
ThreeSometimes long ago,
When the grown was covered in white snow,
I left this place in my mind,
And traveled the world through my own ways.
I got no where really
Then someone showed me a map.
She decided to tag along
But I said the road might be too long.
I carried her on my back,
but soon she got really strong,
And now and again she carries me along.
Then when the snow was melting,
we both met another,
one weak tall thing
That we thought we might break.
Instead she surprised us both
and she shattered our worlds.
But we kept on walking
with no where in the world.
When the rain was pouring
We found shelter.
When one was hungry
Food came about.
Somehow I remember,
but yet I forget how often we did fall.
There at the edges of my mind
I still like to think about the time
when we smiled so bright,
when the world was imaginary
When we didn't have to say goodbye.
And now and Then
We say hello again.
WhenI fell in love when
There was the wind blowing sweetly
And my cheeks got just a bit cold
Like rose dew falling slowly
I fell in love when I was told
Then once I fell in love with no one
Well someone that I dreamed of
I wondered all the time if they were real
Or if my head was just full of
Things that I wished I could feel
I fell in love when
Those spring days cried pink petals
The apple trees bloomed
And it rained sweet gentle kisses
I fell in love when I could
Then another time I fell in love
Or was it lust I can't tell...
But I remember well
That such a time will always dwell
When I fell in love
My memory is drifting to my imagination
Or was it just another new morning
When the sun hurts my eyes
When my limbs are relaxed
My muscles deep into the mattress
Both melted together
Once I fell in love
when feelings couldn't be helped
Once I fell in love
and once I fell out
We all fall
I wish I landed more gently.
She's a WriterShe sits at her desk
Her headphones in,
The world shut out.
She bleeds for others
As words fly from
Her mind to her fingertips.
She stares at the screen,
At every little comment,
The good and the painful.
She forms her emotions
Into books and poems
To throw away the hurt.
She's a writer,
And her best weapons
Are her mind and her pen.
BetrayedI won't swallow your lies anymore
I can't stand your presence
You used to be my friend
But you're nothing to me now
And soon you'll be
Another bad memory
I won't be able to forget
Do you know what it feels like...To be lonely?
To be bullied?
To be called ugly?
To be unattractive?
To be compared to other women?
To be considered unnormal?
To be unloved even though you give love to others?
To face issues that you don't in reality know how to fix?
To think that your goal you're reaching for, is unattainable?
To feel like the cause of many people's problems?
To be held up on a high pedistal that you can't get down off of?
To realize that people don't like you based on your personailty?
To at no avail, keep up your happy and upbeatness for others?
To look at happy couples and wish that you had someone to be happy with?
To stop fighting for anything anymore?
flower petalsi know that when we touch
that my energy is yours
that we are like flowers
because at our roots
we need water and love,
we reach tall as we can
to get to the sun
and stretch our leaves
to welcome it all;
and when we touch
i know that our skin isn’t skin
too soft for this world
when it grows rough with gravel
so i invite you back to our bed,
soft with the earth
where we can lie gently
and sleep until it is time
You AgainOh, it's you again. I must admit,
The crooning has
The lies have been
And mine are like swords
It's just you and me
In this sick game
I can tell
You're pulling me in,
And I don't have
To pull you down
Sometimes, I've had
And all I see is
Then it became
I don't know
How to escape
Dark to see.
And all I can
Wonder at every
Turn I make
When can it be
SightStars in the night sky
I see beyond that and through
Greatness into darkness, I can fly
Here above the earth I can see the truth
There is an angel that will love me until I die
jackal grinMy orange peel
lips split: the beams
a deck of cards
nana’s worn porch,
and fingers weaving
through grass blades
when the light is
soft and warm.
(have you f
An artist (revised)
Staring blankly at a white sheet of paper
Can truly be an artist’s worst nightmare
An artist’s duty as its shaper
Their thoughts up in the clouds somewhere
Looking for bits of inspiration
Their eyes searching the skies
Nothing can break their concentration
Nothing can blow out the passion in their eyes
Being an artist does not always mean you are skilled
You do not need to be Picasso or Bach
It means you want to see your dream fulfilled
And that you will never give in to an art block
I Don't Come with the Edgesi.
It cries the way dragonflies leave ripples
in the rain. On days I swallow
whirlpools for breakfast and
drown with libraries for fun,
I can almost allow myself to forget
And it doesn’t want to make
me kneel on my shoulders
or pluck the weeds
from my scars;
I can see it try so hard
to be my friend.
But if I could choose
polka dots over tail lights
and sun screen over
I wouldn’t think thrice
or even once
not to blow the candles
on my grave.
That’s why I keep
the colons of analog clocks
under my tongue;
so I could keep the
figures eight of cliché’s
as keepsakes for old age.
I like to think infinities
have loopholes; tree rings
that dissolve into each other
with exhales for a caress.
And just when the tones
of lyrics would enter the
eutony of names, only then
would I drift into love.
When I wouldn’t be holding
my blood in my temples-
when all I am is a thought.
The running footsteps
we’ve come to cla
Flesh rebels against flesh.
Pulsing, throbbing, giving way
To the soul escape.
Red everywherecovering the wound
The new scar. Slightly nauseating
To see your inner self.
More importantly, the pain is sharp.
Sudden as it receds, it begins
Anew. Waves, new waves, of fear.
Waves washing over, like the shore
Being washed over, carved
Away by the ocean.
Every new fear takes away something
From the soul, only later being
Though sometimes the feeling is
Refreshing, it is always
Reminiscent of past mistakes.
What, if anything, does it
Accomplish? The person grows
Smaller in hope,
Larger in despair. Then death, suddenly,
Subtly, invites the cold wind.
Oh, how I miss the blood,
The wound! Oh, how I miss
My soul, breathe it in me once
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More